Exhale.

There are times when I feel idle. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I can't clear out my mind that's constantly drowned by my thoughts, which most of them are very negative. I struggle to keep my sanity untouched, nor drowned, by the branching questions that pops up on the corner of my brain that always end at "I'm not good enough". I feel isolated from happiness as my body emits this rage and hate towards everything and everyone. I feel uneasy with myself. Maybe it's a hormonal thing? I'm not quite sure. But, I hope it is. 

The only thing that has been keeping me intact is cooking and eating. I have this tendency to binge eat everything in sight, which is bad knowing that I can gain a lot of weight by just eating a handful of rice, so I decided to cook my meal. Whatever it is, just cook, as long as it doesn't contain any carbs and processed sugar. My sugar intake is from fruits alone, while my energy comes from the braised chicken breast and fried tempeh. Although poptarts are far more delicious that a plain old tempeh, I tried to eat healthy every day. 

I know this particular writing of mine is all over the place, but I need to get this word jumbles that had been lingering in my head. There are still lots of food reviews I need to write, travel diaries I need to tell, and pictures of dishes I need to show, but I can't bring myself to write well. I hope my mind will get better soon.